When life gets uncertain and the pressure builds, this is where real growth begins. Learn how to build a life aligned with who you’re becoming.
Before we dive into the next chapter, let’s revisit where we’ve been. The Fog to Flight series has been a journey through the stages of personal transformation:
- Part 1: The Flicker — Recognizing the subtle signs that change is needed.
- Part 2: The Shift — Taking initial steps toward a new direction.
- Part 3: The Friction — Confronting the resistance that arises when old patterns clash with new intentions.
Now here we are — Part 4 of the From Fog to Flight series.
Up to now, You’ve heard Marcus’s story.
You’ve reflected on your own.
But as life keeps “lifing,” I want to be honest with you — I’m not on the other side of this either.
I’m still becoming.
And right now? That becoming is uncomfortable.
Here’s my truth as I write this:
I’m scared.
I’m unemployed with about 4–5 months of severance left.
By then… something’s got to pop.
The business I launched? It’s not growing as fast as I hoped.
And yeah — doubt is starting to creep in.
I’m not actively job hunting, but today… I applied for one.
Because for all its limitations, corporate America had some version of security.
Meanwhile, I feel like I’m juggling a thousand things:
💔 Strained relationships
🧠 Elevated responsibilities at church
💣 Life challenges I didn’t choose — but still feel responsible for
⚠️ A growing clarity about who I’m becoming, what I’m no longer willing to tolerate, and how I want to show up in this chapter of my life
And I’m realizing…
The more I try to hold it all together, the more it challenges everything I thought I knew about success, stability, and identity.
It’s safe to say:
I am deep in the friction we talked about in Part 3.
Truth is
🧠 This Is When the Shit Gets Real
This phase is where the internal work intensifies. It’s about confronting fears, doubts, and uncertainties head-on. It’s about choosing to:
👉🏽 Double down on your values — reaffirming what truly matters to you.
👉🏽 Commit to your purpose — even when the path isn’t clear.
👉🏽 Stay present in the now — embracing the current moment with all its challenges.
This is the crucible where formation occurs — not in comfort, but in the commitment to grow despite discomfort.
🔨 What Is Formation?
Formation is the phase where alignment is built — not just imagined.
It’s the part of the journey where everything you’ve seen, questioned, and confronted… now demands structure.
It’s where you stop reacting and start rebuilding — slowly, intentionally, and in alignment with your true self.
Formation is the construction zone of transformation.
❓ It’s asking: What rhythms support who I’m becoming?
🎯 It’s defining: What values am I living from now?
✅ It’s choosing: Who and what gets access to me in this season?
It’s the habits you commit to,
the boundaries you reinforce,
the way you use your time, energy, and attention.
It’s not about doing more.
It’s about becoming more on purpose.
And here’s the part most people miss:
Formation isn’t glamorous.
It’s not the big announcement.
It’s not the finished product.
It’s the quiet, consistent work of becoming — without applause.
This is where clarity becomes commitment.
Where calling turns into calendar.
Where your values move from idea… into action.
This part of the journey isn’t hypothetical for me.
I’m not writing from a finish line — I’m in it right now.
I’m moving out of the friction right into the formation. Scared as hell. Unsure of my abilities. Unwilling to turn back without a damn good fight.
No paycheck guarantee. No predictable next step. Just faith, friction, and a flicker that refuses to die.
Since the last post, not much has shifted externally.
I’m still navigating uncertainty around my business.
I’m still catching moments of doubt trying to plant themselves in my thinking.
I’m still managing responsibilities — to family, to church, to self — with less bandwidth than ever.
And yet… something’s changing.
I’m no longer shrinking to fit old expectations.
I’m no longer hustling for worth.
I’m not choosing comfort over clarity — even when it costs me peace in the short term.
This is formation.
It’s happening in real time.
And it’s slow. Messy. Unmarketable.
But I can feel the shape of who I’m becoming — and I refuse to walk away from that.
🌟 Section 1: Real People. Real Resistance. Real Growth.
You’ve heard the advice — trust the process, embrace the journey, keep going.
But when you’re in the thick of it — with fear knocking, doubt rising, and the clock ticking — those words can feel distant.
It’s easy to feel alone in the friction, but these stories serve as reminders that the path to success is rarely linear.
It’s the commitment to one’s values and purpose, even in the face of adversity, that paves the way forward.
So let’s bring it closer. Here’s some people who sat exactly where you might be right now.
Emma Grede, co-founder of SKIMS and Good American, dropped out of school at 16.
She didn’t have a degree, a blueprint, or the security of knowing how it would all work out.
What she did have? A vision — and a willingness to face her fear.
She once said, “Fear is not the enemy. It’s the gateway to personal growth.”
Instead of backing down, she leaned in — and built an empire alongside some of the biggest names in the world.
James Dyson spent 15 years and 5,126 failed prototypes trying to build his first vacuum.
5,126.
Most of us would have quit at 10.
But Dyson understood that failure wasn’t the end — it was data. Feedback.
He called his journey “a life of failure” — and credits that friction for the innovation that followed.
And then there’s Oprah Winfrey, fired from one of her first television jobs and told she was “unfit for TV.”
Her response?
She reframed it. “There is no such thing as failure. Failure is just life trying to move us in another direction.”
Before becoming a billionaire entrepreneur and “Shark Tank” investor, Mark Cuban faced numerous setbacks.
Early in his career, he was fired from a job at a computer software store for closing a deal instead of opening the store on time.
Reflecting on this experience, Cuban said, “I’ve been fired from more jobs than you’ve probably had.”
Cuban emphasizes the importance of resilience, stating, “It doesn’t matter how many times you fail. You only have to be right once.”
These stories matter because they remind us that resistance isn’t proof that you’re off track.
It’s confirmation that you’re pushing into new territory.
And it’s not just personal — there’s science behind why this stage of growth feels so intense.
And no matter what your past looks like — you still get to choose what you build next.
🧠 Section 2: Why This Space Feels So Hard — and So Important
There’s a reason this moment feels heavy.
You’ve stopped shrinking — and now you have to start shaping.
And shaping takes energy, intention, and self-trust.
Psychologist Carol Dweck calls this a growth mindset — the belief that your abilities aren’t fixed, but develop through effort, feedback, and challenge.
When you’re in the formation stage, that mindset is essential.
You’re not expected to have it all figured out. But you are invited to keep going — with your values as your compass.
This is also what researchers call post-traumatic growth — the idea that real expansion often happens after hard things.
It’s not about bouncing back. It’s about rebuilding differently.
More grounded. More honest. More aligned.
And if that still feels hard? That’s okay.
Psychologist Martin Seligman developed the concept of learned optimism — the ability to reframe setbacks as temporary, specific, and solvable.
That doesn’t mean pretending things are fine.
It means believing you can still create something good — even from a messy middle.
Because this is when the work gets real.
Not after you’ve succeeded.
But right here — when it would be easier to shrink… and you choose to build anyway — that’s where everything shifts.
Not all at once.
Not with fireworks.
But with one intentional decision after another.
So how do you keep showing up when the spotlight is gone and the ground is shaky?
💥 5 Ways to Crush the Formation
Let’s be real — this part will try to take you out.
Not because you’re weak.
But because the version of you that’s emerging requires more than wishful thinking.
It takes discipline.
It takes awareness.
It takes some damn near holy self-respect.
This is where your new mindset has to meet new moves.
You can’t keep asking for alignment while living from old patterns.
So if you’re in the thick of it right now — tired, tempted to turn back, or unsure where to start — here are five ways to stay grounded and grow forward:
🔁 1. Rebuild Your Rhythm
Formation needs a flow. Not hustle. Not perfection. But rhythm.
A time to move. A time to rest. A time to check in with yourself.
Set anchors in your day that remind you who you’re becoming — not just what you’re doing.
🎯 2. Get Clear on Your Non-Negotiables
What are the values you refuse to compromise on — even when pressure rises?
Write them. Post them. Live by them.
Your non-negotiables are your compass when doubt starts making noise.
🛑 3. Limit Your Leaks
Where is your time, energy, and attention going that isn’t aligned with your future?
Formation requires focused energy.
Start protecting it like it’s sacred — because it is.
Cut the noise. Tighten the access.
🧱 4. Give Your Growth Structure
Winging it won’t work in this season.
Formation thrives on intentional containers — a schedule, a strategy, a support system.
Freedom isn’t the absence of structure.
It’s found inside the right one.
💬 5. Talk to the Version of You That’s Coming
Every morning, every time you want to quit — speak to who you’re becoming.
Ask:
- What does the future version of me need today?
- What would peace do?
- What would clarity choose?
Let that version lead the way. Let them call you forward.
💭 Final Thought
Formation isn’t glamorous.
It doesn’t come with applause.
It’s slow, sacred, often silent work.
But this season — this gritty, stretching, doubt-filled middle — is where you lay the foundation for the life you’re meant to live.
Not just one that looks good on paper.
One that feels aligned in your body, your spirit, your calendar, and your relationships.
And if you’re here right now?
Still tired. Still trying. Still showing up?
You’re already doing the work.
Keep building with what you’ve got.
Keep choosing what aligns.
Keep protecting your peace.
Because what you’re forming now is what your future will be built on.
💬 Which of the five formation moves do you need to focus on most this week?
Let me know in the comments — or send me a message if you’re walking through this in real time like me.
Need support designing a life that actually fits who you’re becoming?
Let’s talk it through.
👉🏽 Book a free strategy session today!
🔥 Next up in this series: The Flight
Now that the foundation is forming, we’ll talk about what it looks like to step into alignment — to live with vision, flow, and clarity as the new normal.
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