What’s In Your Way? How to Identify and Break the Patterns That Keep You Stuck

Reset Before the New Year: Break the Patterns. Shift the Mindset.

What You’ll Take Away

Self-sabotage isn’t laziness—it’s fear dressed up as productivity or perfectionism.
You must name the identity blocks driving your patterns if you want real change
You don’t need more goals—you need rhythm, structure, and clarity.
If you’re ready to stop circling and start moving, The Clarity Kickstart offers the strategic reset you’ve been needing.

If you’ve been following along these last few weeks, you’re here for one reason:

You want to finish this year strong and hit the ground running in 2026.

I’ve shown you what an honest year-end review looks like.

I’ve helped you reconnect to the goals that still matter.

And now you’re probably asking:

How do I actually get there?

Here’s what I can tell you:

It’s not a lack of discipline.

It’s a lack of clarity about what’s really running the show.

You have to name what’s in your way.

And like everything else that leads to a breakthrough, it takes brutal honesty.

I say this with conviction, because I’ve done it before.

And I’m doing it again, right now.

We all have a habit of repeating the patterns we don’t confront.

For me? It’s fear.

Fear of failing.
Fear of not being enough.
And yeah…fear of succeeding, too.

Keep reading if that just struck a nerve.

So, there it is. I said it.

But what does that fear actually look like?

It’s procrastination dressed up as preparation.
It’s perfectionism hiding a quiet lack of confidence.
It’s the self-talk that keeps you small—even when you know better.

Here’s what no one wants to admit:

Even with the self-work. Even with coaching.

It still shows up.

And unless you name it, every time it shows up—it will win.

This year came with its own particular set of unexpected setbacks, identity blocks, and self-doubt that kept me second-guessing, and “putting things off.”

Before I knew it, I was shrinking to avoid the hard things.

Stalling instead of showing up.

Sitting in patterns instead of breaking them.

This post is about confronting what’s in your way—so you can finally stop repeating patterns and start moving with intention.

What’s Really Holding You Back (and How to Reclaim Momentum)

You don’t need another plan.

You don’t need more productivity.

You need a reset.

This is the part where you sit with yourself.

Get really honest.

And be brave enough to say it out loud.

I try to do this once a quarter:

Be still.
Be present.
Be honest.

What’s working?

What’s not?

And most importantly—why?

Because more often than not…

It’s me that’s in my own way.

And if you’re honest, it’s probably you too.

That cycle you keep finding yourself in?

It’s not random.

It’s familiar.

And more than likely, it’s rooted in an identity block that hasn’t been named.

In my post The Silent Dream Killer, I name it. Self-Sabotage.

We all deal with it in some form—whether it’s procrastination, overthinking, or convincing yourself you “just need a little more time.”

That’s self-sabotage at work.

And this year? I slipped.

As the hits kept coming, I fell deeper into those self-sabotaging patterns.

Here are my usual suspects:

Perfectionism: The illusion that I’m just one flawless plan away from finally getting it right
Shame loops: That voice that whispers “you already blew it, why try again?”
Fear of exposure: Not for what I do—but for who I really am (or fear I’m not)

Let’s be clear:

These aren’t “mindset issues.”

They’re not just bad habits.

They’re identity blocks, wired in through survival and repetition.

And unless I confront and rewire my thinking, there’s no growth.

No breakthrough.

No progress.

So, let me ask:

What pattern keeps showing up every time I try to grow?

The Real Cost of Staying Stuck in Self-Sabotage

Every time you don’t name the block,

the block makes the decision for you.

And the cost?

It’s not just time.

It’s not just money.

It’s something far deeper:

Your clarity—you lose sight of what actually matters.
Your confidence—you question yourself before you even begin.
Your identity—the version of you that knows better gets buried by the one that plays small.

Here’s what that actually looks like:

Shrinking your goals to feel safe.
Doing just enough to appear in motion—but never enough to finish.
Filling your calendar with activity instead of real progress.
Holding back your voice, your skill, your next move.

This year?

Getting in my own way cost me:

Momentum I had already built.
Opportunities I hesitated too long to pursue.
Energy wasted in overthinking instead of executing.
The internal peace that comes with honoring what I said I wanted.

And I’m sure I’m not the only one asking:

What version of me is still running the show when things get hard?

3 Ways to Interrupt Self-Sabotage and Rebuild Momentum

Naming what’s in your way is powerful.

But naming it isn’t the finish line—it’s the first move.

You don’t overcome identity blocks by hustling harder.

You overcome them by building structures that reinforce the version of you that you want to be, not the version you’ve outgrown.

If fear is running the show, build in safety.

If perfectionism is stealing momentum, build in grace.

If self-sabotage is your default, build in accountability, rhythm, and clarity.

Here are 3 things I’ve done—and what you can do right now—to interrupt the cycle and start moving with integrity again:

1. Interrupt the Loop in Real Time

You won’t always catch it before it starts.

But you can interrupt it before it takes over.

Start asking in the moment:

“Is this action aligned—or is it avoidance?”
“What am I protecting myself from right now?”
“Who’s running the show—me or my pattern?”

Awareness creates space. And space is where new choices live.

2. Rebuild Safety Around Imperfect Action

Most sabotage doesn’t come from laziness—it comes from fear.

Fear of being wrong, exposed, or disappointed again.

So instead of forcing yourself to “be consistent,” create safety around progress:

One clear win per day
20-minute focus blocks (not 4-hour sprints)
Track wins, not just tasks

Progress becomes sustainable when it feels safe to keep showing up.

3. Anchor Your Identity, Not Just Your Outcome

If your internal narrative is still rooted in fear, no strategy will stick.

You have to reconnect with the identity you’re building.

Ask yourself daily:

“What would the future version of me do here?”
“How would someone who values freedom / clarity / peace respond?”
“Am I choosing from my past or from my future?”

Alignment isn’t about intensity—it’s about identity.

Decide who’s making the decision and move from there.

Final Thought

You can’t outwork what you haven’t named.

And you can’t build forward momentum if sabotaging behavior is still steering the wheel.

But once you call it out, the game changes.

You stop shrinking.

You stop wasting energy negotiating with patterns that don’t serve your best interest.

Because now, you see it.

And what you see, you can challenge.

What you challenge, you can change.

So, if you’re serious about finishing 2025 strong and showing up aligned in 2026—today is the day to make a different move.

Not a louder one.

Not a flashier one.

Just one that’s rooted in your truth—and pointed forward.

What would it look like to make a different choice today?

If you’re ready for a structured, realistic approach to identifying and breaking the patterns that keep you stuck, The Clarity Kickstart Intensive Cohort was designed with you in mind.

Five weeks of focused group coaching—rooted in strategy, grounded in truth.

This isn’t about hype. It’s about alignment.

Clarity. Rhythm. Real forward motion.

🗓️ Applications close December 31

📅 Cohort begins January 19, 2026

⚠️ Space is limited to keep the work intentional.

Step into 2026 clear, honest, and ready.

👉🏽 Apply for Clarity Kickstart Cohort

Live on Purpose. Lead with Clarity. Thrive by Design.