Blog Posts Tagged Moving Forward | PR4LIFE | Personal Development Coaching for Purpose and Fulfillment.

When Keeping Busy Isn’t Moving Forward

It’s been four months since I published my first blog post, Keep Going: The Journey That Led to PR4LIFE™. That post was written six months after my father passed, ten months after I became his hospice caretaker, and eleven months after navigating my own personal crisis. I shared how all of these experiences led me to start my coaching practice, PR4LIFE™, and how my father’s final words to our family, “Keep going,” became a guiding force in my life.

At the time, I believed I was living out his advice. I kept working. I kept moving forward. I kept doing all the things that needed to be done. And I thought I was doing it spectacularly.

Then it hit me—I wasn’t really keeping going. I was merely repeating well-worn, well-rehearsed patterns that I default to when life presents circumstances I don’t want to accept.

The Cycle of Avoidant Coping

I was keeping busy—distraction after distraction.

✅ Take a coaching class.

✅ Start your coaching practice.

✅ Build your website.

✅ Work your 9-to-5.

✅ Make sure Mom is okay.

✅ Make sure the family is okay.

Then, there was task after task.

✏️ Write your blog.

✏️ Create content for your website.

✏️ Make social content.

✏️ Learn more. Do more. Be more.

I now realize that I wasn’t moving forward—I was avoiding the uncomfortable space I found myself in. That space wasn’t exactly denial, nor was it just grief. It was a state of emotional limbo—non-acceptance, sadness, and avoidance all rolled into one.

The Hits Kept Coming

As I reflect, that day in April of 2024 when my father passed was just the beginning of what turned out to be a devastating 10-month journey of loss for the family.

❌ In July, we lost a cousin.

❌ In August, we lost another cousin.

❌ In October, we lost my brother-in-law.

❌ In December, we lost two more cousins.

❌ And just last month, we lost my uncle.

So much loss in such a short period left me grasping for control. And the only way I knew how to cope was to keep moving, keep doing, keep filling the void with action.

Then, last month, I was downsized from my job. One more loss.

With every loss, I found myself retreating further into motion—doing, planning, organizing—anything to keep from fully absorbing the weight of it all. I told myself that staying busy was a way to honor my father’s words, “Keep going.”

But in reality?

I was running.

Recognizing Avoidant Coping vs. Healthy Distractions

What I didn’t realize then was that I had fallen into avoidant coping, a pattern of staying excessively busy to escape dealing with emotions. It looks like progress, but in reality, it’s emotional evasion.

After coming across the article Grief Note: Healthy Distractions vs. Avoidant Coping, I finally understood the difference:

✅ Healthy distractions allow us to step away briefly, regain strength, and return to our grief with clarity.

❌ Avoidant coping keeps us perpetually busy to suppress grief, making healing impossible.

I was definitely in the avoidant space:

🔲 Constant busyness

🔲 Overcommitting

🔲 Binge-watching Hulu, Netflix, and TikTok

🔲 Emotional numbness

This was the space I had created for myself. And for a while? It was comfortable.

But grief doesn’t disappear just because we don’t look at it.

Are You Coping or Avoiding? (A Self-Check Quiz)

If you’re unsure whether you’re moving forward or just keeping busy, ask yourself:

✅ Do I feel emotionally drained, despite being constantly busy?

✅ Am I filling my time to avoid thinking about a difficult experience?

✅ Do I feel uncomfortable when I have nothing to do?

✅ Am I using distractions (work, social media, binge-watching) to numb emotions?

✅ Do I avoid talking about or processing my grief?

If you answered yes to two or more of these questions, you might be using busyness as avoidant coping rather than truly processing your emotions.

Recognizing that you may be using busyness as a way to avoid grief is an important first step—but what comes next? Many of us hold onto beliefs about grief and healing that keep us stuck in patterns of avoidance. I used to believe that moving on meant leaving those I’ve lost behind, but I’ve come to understand that’s just a myth. Let’s take a closer look at some of the most common misconceptions about grief and what moving forward truly means.

Common Myths About Moving On

💭 Moving on means forgetting → False. Moving on is about carrying the love and lessons forward while allowing yourself to embrace what comes next.

💭 If I keep busy, I’ll naturally heal over time → False. Time doesn’t heal by itself—processing your emotions is essential.

💭 Grieving properly means feeling sad all the time → False. It’s okay to find joy even while grieving.

What Does Moving On Look Like?

As I told my sister a few days ago, taking this step feels like a weight is lifting—like peace is finally settling in.

Here’s what I’ve learned that moving on is:

✔️ Stepping into what’s next with intention instead of avoidance.

✔️ Acknowledging the pain and sadness while also making space for new experiences, joy, and growth.

✔️ Living fully, not just functioning.

For me, this means shifting my focus from merely running PR4LIFE™ to fully living it—being resilient in a way that aligns with my purpose.

It means allowing myself to sit in stillness rather than always seeking the next task to fill the silence. It means making peace with the fact that my father (and all those we’ve lost) are gone, but their legacy is still here—in my heart, in my work, in my purpose.

And it also means releasing the pressure to have it all figured out.

Moving on is a process, not a one-time decision.

The Path Forward: How to Move On with Intention

If you’ve found yourself in a similar space—stuck between holding on and letting go—here are a few things I’ve learned about what it truly means to move forward:

💡 Acknowledge where you are.

Ask yourself honestly: Am I truly moving forward, or am I just staying busy?

💡 Make space for stillness.

It’s in the quiet moments that we find the clarity we’ve been avoiding. Allow yourself to sit with your emotions instead of running from them.

💡 Define what moving on means for you.

Does it mean letting go? Starting something new? Making peace with the past? Decide what it looks like in your life.

💡 Embrace the process.

Moving on doesn’t happen overnight. Let it be a journey, not a race.

💡 Allow joy back in.

Grieving doesn’t mean we stop living. Finding joy again is not a betrayal—it’s a sign of healing.

Final Thought: The Difference Between Staying and Moving

Staying busy feels like moving forward. But often? It’s just another way of standing still.

I thought I was honoring my father’s words, “Keep going,” by maintaining momentum, but in reality, I was running in circles—doing but not being.

Keeping going isn’t just about continuing the tasks of life. It’s about true progress. It’s about evolving, learning, growing, and yes, even letting go when needed.

And that’s where I find myself now.

Keep Going, But Move Forward

PR4LIFE™ was founded on the idea that resilience isn’t just about surviving—it’s about thriving. It’s about taking what life throws at us and using it as fuel for growth, not an anchor that keeps us stuck.

So today, I choose to keep going—but this time, I choose to move forward.

I invite you to do the same.

❓ Are you truly moving forward, or just staying in motion?

Today, I challenge you to pause. Take a breath. Acknowledge where you are.

Instead of filling the silence with another task, allow yourself a moment to sit with your emotions.

✨ What is one distraction you’ve been using to avoid your circumstances?

✨ And what is one intentional step you can take today to truly process and move forward?

Share your experience in the comments and lets move forward together.

Remember, You don’t have to do it all at once. Just start with one step.

I’m doing it too.

Let’s keep going—but move forward. 🚀

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