Fresh Starts and The Truth About Beginning Again

The Lie of Starting Over (And What You’re Really Doing Instead)

If you’re navigating a fresh start after loss, change, or burnout—this post is for you. Learn how to move forward with faith, self-connection, and purpose-driven clarity.
 
If you’ve been following the What Do I Do Now? series, then you already know where this started:
 
And if you’re just joining me, don’t worry—you’re not behind. This isn’t a summary. It’s a shift.
 
Because here’s the truth:
Sometimes what we call “starting over” is actually something much deeper.
 
So, here’s what I’m going to do now:
Begin again.
 
At least, that’s what I thought I was doing.
 
In my head, I was saying, “Okay, I’m starting over.”
But the truth? I wasn’t.
I was stuck in my head—looking for practical next steps, moving the way “my world” told me I should move.
 
But—and this is a BIG but
Spiritually, I was being led somewhere that required surrender, not strategy.
A direction that was filled with unknowns, and that’s never been my default setting.
 
And that’s when I made the choice:
 
Stop resisting.
Start listening.
 
Start following the pull of purpose.
 
And with that shift, I’m not just “starting over.”
I’m moving forward—with faith, not a formula.
With clarity, not control.
 
And no, I’m not ready to reveal the full plan just yet.
But I know this much:
 
This next chapter requires a different version of me.
 
The idea of starting over? It still shakes me.
Maybe it shakes you too.
 
It can feel like losing everything you built.
Like waking up without a roadmap.
Like being asked to trust again—when the last time left you burned.
 
But here’s the question I’m sitting with now:
 
What if “starting over” isn’t what’s happening at all?
 

I’m Doing a New Thing

“Forget the former things;
     do not dwell on the past.
  See, I am doing a new thing!
     Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
 I am making a way in the wilderness
     and streams in the wasteland
.
— Isaiah 43:18–19
 
If you know me, you know that my faith isn’t just part of my life—it guides how I make most decisions. Especially when the decisions don’t come with certainty or a clean blueprint.
 
And over the past few months, this verse from Isaiah kept coming back to me.
Not just as encouragement—but as instruction.
 
“I am doing a new thing…”
 
The difficulty?
I kept trying to build the new while still clinging to parts of the old.
Old frameworks. Old expectations. Old ways of measuring progress.
 
Because starting fresh when you’ve built something meaningful—personally, professionally, emotionally—feels risky.
 
But God wasn’t asking me to erase what I’d built.
He was asking me to release what no longer fit the future He was forming.
 
That’s the tension so many of us feel:
We’re not starting from scratch.
But we also can’t go back to who we were.
 
Starting over feels like failure.
But what if it’s actually faith in motion?
 
Not a step back—but a step deeper.
Not a return to safety—but a response to calling.
Not a hard reset—but a holy realignment.
 
And here’s the problem, well my problem at least.
I like certainty. I like knowing outcomes. I like a plan.
 
Right now? I don’t have that kind of certainty. I have a plan… but it’s not the kind that guarantees outcomes. It’s the kind that demands trust.
 
As I think back, I’ve come to realize that this “new thing” has been in the works for more than a year.
 
And I have to ask:
What is it about change, a new direction, and the unknown that scare not just me, but I would dare say most people into a dead stop.
 
How can I say I have faith—yet still demand proof before I take the first step?
 
And that’s where I find myself—in the tension between belief and behavior.
I believed God was doing a new thing. I even wanted the new thing.
But I’m still dragging old fears, old patterns, and old survival instincts into the present.
 
And it turns out, there’s a reason for that.
 
Because our brains are wired to favor what’s familiar—even painful.
 

The Psychology of “New” Isn’t Always Motivational

Research in neuroscience shows that the brain is hardwired to favor certainty over change, even when the current situation is painful.
 
According to Dr. David Rock, founder of the NeuroLeadership Institute, uncertainty triggers a threat response in the brain, causing us to default to the familiar—even if that familiar no longer serves us.
 
So when God says, “I’m doing a new thing,”
Your brain says, “But I liked the old routine—even if it wasn’t working.”
 
That explains why I was hesitating—not because I lacked clarity, but because my nervous system was resisting the unknown.
And that’s not weakness. It’s wiring.
 
But here’s the thing:
You can’t experience transformation while clinging to the terms of your past.
That’s why this season hasn’t just been about reflection.
It’s been about release.
 
 
Psychologists like Dr. Nancy Schlossberg describe transition as not just a change in circumstance—but a change in identity.
In her framework of adult transition, Dr. Schlossberg identifies a psychological phase called the ‘neutral zone’—a space where real transformation begins.”
 
It’s the in-between space when old routines are gone, and the new reality hasn’t arrived yet.
Feelings during this zone often include uncertainty, disorientation, and identity tension. 
 
This isn’t just theory.
It’s the pain of the pause.
The waiting room of purpose.
 
Because in the neutral zone:
  • The familiar identity no longer fits.
  • The new one hasn’t been defined.
  • And your nervous system is screaming for predictability.
 
Yet this tension is purposeful.
 
It’s the part of transition that feels like it’s not working—but is actually working you.
 
This is where I’ve had to really trust the process—and keep moving forward, even without full clarity.
 

Faith + Framework, Not Faith Alone

That’s what my spiritual journey has been reinforcing:
 
When God says, “I’m doing a new thing,” He’s not canceling the past.
He’s inviting careful release.
 
We don’t leap from grief into purpose with ease.
We need to move through that liminal space—where sorrow, surrender, and strength collide.
 
I’m in that space now, but with less trepidation, less fear.
 
I always tell my clients ‘Start where you are’.
 
I now need to heed that advice and understand this:
 
God wasn’t asking me to start over from scratch.
He was asking me to surrender the structures that no longer hold what He is building.
 
That’s the hard truth of spiritual growth, or any growth for that matter:
  • It rarely comes with a full plan.
  • It often comes with silence.
  • And it always requires trust.
 
So no—I’m not just starting over.
 
I’m stepping into a new thing,
One I didn’t design…
But one I’m finally ready to walk in.
 
This is faith in motion. And it’s what trust looks like in the in between.
 

Before You Move, Get Aligned — Be Still Before You Build

I’ll be honest—this is usually the part of the post where I’d give you some action steps.
 
A few things to try.
A list to check.
A push to start doing.
 
But not this time. Because right now, action doesn’t feel right—or even necessary.
 
This moment doesn’t need action.
It needs alignment.
It needs self-connection.
 
After the layoff, I felt like I had to move fast to re-establish myself. Prove that I was still valuable.
 
That’s what my worldview told me, but the faster I moved, the more lost I became.
Scrambling to make the coaching path succeed overnight.
Looking for a fast swell of interested clients.
 
And what about my professional skill set—how was I supposed to monetize that outside of the corporate world?
 
 
And while I was moving at breakneck speed—trying to assemble all the pieces and make this ‘new thing’ work—I was, in truth, standing still.
 
The movement looked productive from the outside—but inside, I was still unsettled.
 
It wasn’t until recently that I was hit with this:
 
This isn’t about moving forward fast.
It’s about moving forward right—from stillness, not striving.
 
So if you were expecting next steps, here’s what I’m offering instead:
 
Stillness.
Internal reflection.
Spiritual alignment.
Mental clarity.
Emotional reset.
 
Because this isn’t just about what you’re doing next.
It’s about who you’re becoming in the waiting.
 

Not Everything That Feels Urgent Is Actually Aligned

The world glorifies momentum.
It rewards productivity.
It measures progress in posts, deliverables, and deadlines.
 
But sometimes… the next wise move isn’t motion.
It’s pause.
It’s breath.
It’s noticing the difference between movement and alignment.
 
Just because something is familiar doesn’t mean it fits.
Just because something pays the bills doesn’t mean it feeds your soul.
Just because you’re “doing the right thing” doesn’t mean it’s your thing.
 
A hard lesson for me to learn.
 
I held on tightly to the familiar—and I’m still holding my TV career with a looser grip.
It was the thing that paid the bills—but when severance runs out, so does that illusion of stability. Then what?
For a while, doing ‘the right thing’ felt like chasing the next job. Now, I’m getting more comfortable with the idea that it might not be my thing at all.
 
I love that I am getting comfortable with the uncomfortable, the not knowing, the open plan.
Doing that has allowed me to see the possibilities.
I’m learning to release—with care and intent—the things that no longer fit. And I’m starting to see: the life I’m stepping into isn’t fully built yet—but I can feel it taking shape.
 

Be Still Before You Build

“Be still and know that I am God.” — Psalm 46:10
 
Stillness isn’t passivity.
It’s posture.
It’s trust.
It’s resistance to building a life that looks good on paper but feels hollow in your chest.
 
You may not call it God.
Maybe for you, it’s intuition. Or alignment. Or gut wisdom.
Whatever name you give it, here’s what I know:
 
You can’t build a life that fits you if you’re disconnected from yourself.
 
And right now?
I’m learning to let God do the shaping before I start the building.
To trust that rest and revelation go hand in hand.
 
So no, I don’t have a 4-step plan in this post.
But I do have a question:
 
What might shift in you if you stopped reaching for clarity—and started reaching for connection?

 

Final Thought: You’re Not Starting Over—You’re Starting From Truth

This isn’t a comeback story.
This isn’t a rebrand.
This is a return to what’s real.
 
If you’ve read this far, maybe you’re here too.
Caught between the old roles and the not-yet clarity.
Tired of chasing certainty, but not quite ready to stop moving.
 
Here’s what I’ve learned in this pause:
 
You’re not starting from scratch.
You’re starting from everything you’ve lived through.
Your pain.
Your gifts.
Your story.
 
And that?
That’s not just enough.
That’s the exact material you need to build what’s next.
 
So no, I don’t know the full plan yet.
But I know the posture:
Open hands.
Clear heart.
Willing spirit.
 
And maybe that’s all you need right now, too.

 

Ready for What’s Next?

Let’s take the next step together.
 
🎯 Need clarity and structure for your reset?
 
💬 Want personal support in navigating your pivot?
 
Time to pivot with purpose.
   

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