Can You Really Hear Me?: A Coach’s View on Listening
One unexpected benefit of my recent downsizing was the chance to spend some quality time with my mom. During the visit, we took care of an important medical issue — her hearing loss. After getting fitted with hearing aids, my mom smiled and said, “Now I won’t be embarrassed because I can’t understand what people are saying.”
That moment hit me hard. My mom has always been social, but I realized she had been withdrawing — not because she didn’t want to engage, but because she couldn’t fully hear and connect with others.
It got me thinking — how often do we really listen to each other? Not just hearing words, but understanding the meaning behind them. Stephen Covey said it best: “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”
Listening is hard work. It takes focus, self-restraint, and a willingness to be fully present. In this post, I explore why we struggle to listen and share five practical tips to become a better listener — because when we truly hear each other, we create deeper trust and connection.
➡️ Read the full post to discover why listening matters — and how to get better at it.
In a fast-paced world that glorifies hustle, taking a pause can be a radical act of self-care and transformation. The article elaborates on the idea that hitting the pause button is necessary to recalibrate, decompress, and realign oneself before stepping into the next chapter of life. Previous attempts to fill voids with immediate actions and decisions often fail to bring genuine change and instead trap individuals in a relentless cycle of monotony. Emphasizing the importance of taking meaningful pauses, the article argues that true transformation requires looking deeper than surface-level adjustments, focusing on radical self-honesty, deep reflection, and bold action.
In this pause, it's not about tweaking one's life; it's about fundamentally disrupting old patterns that do not serve personal growth. Essential steps like facing difficult truths, shedding judgments, and truly understanding one's strengths are necessary for creating a new life path that aligns with core values. Experts in psychology and career development underscore the significance of intentional reflection—not just to question external assumptions but to delve into personal truths that drive real change.
Ultimately, the pause is not a sign of quitting but a vital strategy for long-term success, acting as a transformative period that paves the way for intentional, meaningful decisions. By pausing, individuals create a space where profound self-discovery can occur, opening pathways to a life that isn't bound by outdated cycles or ineffective definitions of success. Embracing this pause allows individuals to align their actions with their true selves, ensuring that future steps are taken with clarity and purpose.
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In the journey of life, it's easy to mistake busyness for progress. After experiencing significant personal loss, including the death of a father and multiple family members, the realization dawned that constant activity was merely a way to avoid confronting grief. Instead of truly moving forward, the cycle of staying busy with tasks like building a coaching practice and managing a website served as a distraction from the emotional limbo of non-acceptance and sadness.
Recognizing the difference between healthy distractions and avoidant coping is crucial for healing. Healthy distractions provide a brief respite, allowing one to return to grief with renewed clarity, while avoidant coping uses perpetual busyness to suppress emotions, hindering the healing process. Acknowledging the signs of avoidant coping, such as feeling emotionally drained despite constant activity and using distractions like binge-watching to numb emotions, is the first step toward genuine progress.
Moving forward is not about forgetting those who have been lost or simply staying busy until time heals all wounds. It involves acknowledging pain while making space for new experiences, joy, and growth. Embracing the process of moving on requires stillness, defining what it means personally, and allowing joy back into life, understanding that it is not a betrayal but a sign of healing.
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The beginning of 2025 has been marked by a wave of mass layoffs across various industries, significantly impacting the workforce and reshaping the job market landscape. With companies like Kohl's and Meta cutting costs due to economic downturns and restructuring, thousands of employees are finding themselves without jobs and grappling with the accompanying emotional turmoil. The federal government, typically seen as a bastion of job security, is also experiencing layoffs, compounding the uncertainty as budget reductions and political shifts lead to job losses.
The emotional impact of these layoffs extends beyond financial instability, affecting personal and professional identities. Employees are often blindsided, experiencing shock, anger, and self-doubt as they navigate the abrupt end of their careers and question their value in the job market. For some, like former Meta employees labeled as low-performing, the reputational damage adds an additional layer of stress, potentially affecting future job prospects.
Despite the challenges, this period of upheaval also presents opportunities for reinvention. Many laid-off workers are using this time to pivot towards new career paths, upskill through online courses, or even explore entrepreneurship. Resilience, strategic planning, and support networks are integral as individuals work to reframe their narratives, secure financial stability, and embrace their next career chapter. Organizations like PR4LIFE provide guidance and resources to help individuals rebuild and thrive in these uncertain times.
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Self-sabotage affects individuals from all walks of life, manifesting through behaviors such as procrastination, self-doubt, and perfectionism, which often stem from fear, negative beliefs, or past experiences. High achievers, in particular, can find themselves in a cycle where their inner critic undermines their success, convincing them that they are unworthy or incapable. Even public figures like Michelle Obama and Kevin Bacon have spoken openly about battling imposter syndrome and self-doubt, exemplifying how pervasive and widespread these feelings can be.
The triggers of self-sabotage often include fear of failure or success, perfectionism, and social comparison, all of which create mental roadblocks that hinder personal and professional growth. By understanding these triggers and how they manifest, individuals can begin to confront and change the self-sabotaging patterns that hold them back. Entrepreneur Simon Lovell’s journey highlights that addressing these mental roadblocks is crucial, suggesting that overcoming self-sabotage starts with a shift in mindset and embracing self-awareness.
Breaking free from self-sabotage involves recognizing and challenging negative beliefs, setting manageable goals, and seeking support from mentors or therapists. Through incremental actions, individuals can rewire their responses to obstacles, ultimately making conscious choices to pursue opportunities and successes. With encouragement to take small steps towards change, the article urges readers to rewrite their narratives and realize their potential, emphasizing that self-sabotage is a pattern that can be unlearned.
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